Survival of the Fittest????!!

Okay. I officially survived the first 9 day road trip. Crazy to say the least. At first it seemed like it would be great. Easy. But as the week progressed I began to realize how much I missed Paul. How much he is needed around here. i can do it myself but it's not my best. I am aware that kids really do benefit from both parents. I think God gave us two parents so they can ballance eachother out. Paul in our home is much more playful. he'll play monster and hit the kids with pillows. Our home goes from tidy to a war zone. He eats Cinnamon Toast Crunch.( I get a little fussed at when the supply is not replenished.) He uses a stern voice when he's displeased that I can't achieve although I try yelling. There is respect that comes with his presence. Even the dogs obey and submit. We are a perfect pair for eachother. I make sure everyone(including the dogs) eats veggies, has vitamins and gets the day to day things done. Sometimes I feel like I'm the one facing hitters and thinking about what pitch to throw and how to get out of loaded base jams. Jams like calling poison control because the dog ate your Zyrtec pill. Or making calls in fights between the boys. I handle serous concerns of 9 and ten year olds.
I worry sometimes about whether the lifestyle is good or bad for my kids. At this point, it's all they know. They have always traveled and have a few free round trip tickets from Sky Miles. But sometimes I feel so inadequate as a mom to them. I fall so short in being Mom and Dad to them. I give them more quantity time and Paul is better at quality. Each year we really examine whether or not to keep playing. There are times like roadtrips and time at the field that are so special. But then I worry that we are missing the normal things like summers, one home, and Dad tucking you in at night. Paul thinks that there are reasons beyond our comprehension as to where and how we are brought up. He truly believes that there are no perfect circumstances and God will use all of these things to shape their individual stories. I think there is wisdom in this thought. Even researchers, cannot with 100% accuracy predict what the outcome will be. An author I love says, "Love covers a multitude of sins." I hope in 20 years with a little therapy, my kids will know we love them and leave our home having all kids of unique life experiences. And maybe remember great things about baseball life. Until then, we will continue the great balancing act.