Kym's Blog

Saying Hello

So two days ago I went to the game. It was great to see all the wives/girlfriends from last year. It's very reassuring to be with people you know. I am excited about what the season holds. The research is going well and I am excited to see the final outcome. I also am hoping to be a bit more social this year and even host a girls night. So I am in the stands and I see all kinds of "new" faces. I smile and look, but never muster the courage to be the first one to introduce myself. Sure, I'll ask the wife I know,"Who is that?" I consider myself a very friendly person. But I just ...smile. And smile. Why is it difficult to make the first move? I guess I feel like a dork in highschool still. I feel dorky saying, "Hi, I'm Paul Byrd's wife. What's your name?" Sometimes I don't know if it's appropriate because they might be a girl the guy met at Beef O'Brady's last night at happy hour. Sometimes, I feel afraid I might have met them before and don't know their name.Could they be with the other team? But I remember being the "new" girl on let's see atleast 6 teams. You feel sized up and uncomfortable. What are the rules and how are the wives. I met a girlfriend once who was terrified of the wives because on a previous team she was treated poorly. I hate that. We're all women there with a common theme...baseball players. We're there supporting, cheering and eating nachos. We were all "new" at one time. Didn't we appreciate the one wife who walked over and introduced herself? I did. SO today, I am going to make the effort to cross over and say, "Hi, we haven't met before. I'm Kym. Maybe just maybe I can make a "new" girl smile too!

On Your Mark, Get Ready, Go!!!

It's all begun! The 2007 MLB Season is underway. Paul left for camp Wednesday. I arrived here last night. I'm unpacking and trying to create order so Paul can focus on pitching. My mind is going in a million directions. Will he have a good year? What will the new wives on the team be like? Will the kids be hard to handle? I'm mixed with excitement and anxiety. I am most excited about the research project we are undertaking. I am so grieved as we have heard of three new baseball marriages ending. It really makes me sad. Each year I get attached to wives and I know how hard it is all season. I believe it's the longest season of all the pro sports. As wives, we prepare, pack, organize and handle so much. Then the off-season comes and we are so excited to be together for four months. Paul and I had a hard time connecting this off-season. We got too busy. Couple that with kids and two different personalities and it makes an interesting four months. We went away for a few days in January. I was not super excited about going but he insisted we needed to reconnect before we were depleated in baseball season. I once read a book that said that marriage is like a bank account. When things are bad we are withdrawing. When things are good we are depositing. You can overdraw your account. When you overdraw enough you get so behind you can't reconcile the account. So this year we are being more intentional about "us." We both know the baseball season is a strain and we are going to have a major payout, but instead of waiting until we are overdrawn make little deposits all through the year. Cards, emails, a planned date on an off day, a roadtrip alone, phone calls(lots of them), him supporting my dreams,me supporting his and gratitude. I can go during the season only for so long without a "thank you" or "I appreciate all you can do." I'm sure Paul feels the same way. I'm looking for his gratitude without saying to him, "Thanks, for busting your butt out there to take good care of us." So today, I'm challenging myself to plan ahead and maybe just maybe when the season ends we can start with a penny over!

Spring Training ALREADY?

I cannot believe it. It's that time ...again. Where did the time go? What did I do the last for months. How many things am I getting ready to leave unfinished. Part of me likes going. I like getting out of the cold and heading down to Florida. It can be a little like an extended vacation. But then I feel this little pit feeling in my tummy. Paul will be gone half of each month. Will he have a good year? I'll be a single mom to two boys. The anxiety and sadness should be gone after 13 years of this. I think that I am going to start the year very proactively. I always try to learn each year how to tweak things for the next season. I am concentrating alot on what I am going to need for me. I need to continue working out, coaching and having some quietness regularly. So I am working on having a mother's helper. I am finally learning that admitting I am not superwoman is really brave and good. Now I can get the support I need and be a great support mate and mom.
I send out this encouragement to all the MLB wives packing right now...please value yourself. You do soooo much. The season is long and you being your best really matters. Get help, bond with other wives, rest as much as you can before it all starts. I know people don't see us much. We aren't going to get an ESPY for folding underwear, but what we do is very important. Don't underestimate your role in the 2007 Baseball Season.

You Have To Go Through It

So this week has been really fast. I had sinus surgery Monday and I honestly don't know how it's Friday already. The first day I was groggy and nauseous. The second day blah. Now in day five I am completely stopped up. It's like having a massive head cold/ear infection. Except, I can only blow my nose...GENTLY. I have used three boxes of Puff's Plus. It's worth the extra money for the touch of lotion! The idea is that they fix the anatomy of the nose, it scabs over, is cleaned out and eventually I breath well, sleep well and feel more energetic. The thing is that most people say they get to the enegetic part a month or so later. I'm on Day 5. I keep remembering that little camp song I used to sing, "Goin' On A Bear Hunt." If you can remember there were all these obstacles like climbing a tree, going through a swamp, just to get to the bear cave. With each obscacle you'd say," You can't go over that, You can't go under that, You have to go through it." There are some things in life that we try to bypass. We want the short cut and the reality is we have to go through it. Why? Sometimes I think it's because we gain character and appreciation for things we have.(Like me when I FINALLY experience breathing from both nostrils.) Other times, I think there are just things in life that we just have to deal with. Most good things worth having in this life cost us something. We can all have the quick version. But the things that have lasting value and change require us to "go through it." Marriage, we all want a quality one, but it costs you your pride. Having a good friendship costs you time. Having peace requires painful mediation. What things in life am I trying to go under and over that I must go through?

The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

So I have just returned from vacation in St. Lucia. I beautiful place. I'm not much of a nature person but there my eyes were overwhelmed with beauty. The pace of life there is very slooooww. They take their time and enjoy life. Every St. Lucian I met either visited other places and came back or has no desire to leave. They were all blown away with how rushed we were all the time. I think of myself as a low key person. I actively pursue down time. I'm fairly patient. But I found myself impatient waiting for help, shuttles and even Paul. I think it's because we live in the culture of Varuka Salt in Willy Wonka, "I want it now." So I am trying to be mindful now of all the reasons waiting is good and important. Character takes time. Finely built things take time. Relationships take time. Raising children takes time. Taking good care of myself takes time. So I'm giving myself grace to be where I am and taking a deep breath and smiling WHILE I wait in line.

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